Friday, July 28, 2006
When I was in the army, I often complain how painful it is to spend everyday in there. But surprisely I never lost weight. I never really know why? But now I think I do. Maybe painful it may be but every night knowing I can see you again, I make sure I eat. Make sure i have energy to talk to you every night till morning.
Now that you are gone, I finally understand what pain is worse than hunger, what pain is worse than illness or stuck in a trap. The longing for you, the very pain that make me work harder everyday. I lied to myself, I keep giving myself objective and aim hard for it. Do everything with great passion as if every single objective and things i do will bring me closer to you.
Everyone tell me I should just forget and move on. I tried and tried real hard. Just that i cannot bear to make any move towards any gal at all. I feel like I am betraying you, the mental torture the guilt I suffered.
7:46 PM