Monday, May 01, 2006
Many have viewed me undefeatable. Many have think I can be better.
But to me I cannot see beyond the fear of myself. I rule myself with an iron fist, not a time I let myself shake my bon bon neither do I allow myself to be wild.
Many challenges ahead, but I not sure why her departure hit me so hard that I sitll cannot stand up. She definitely not the first but why is her impact so great? Have I developed such great reliant on her? Or have staying in army for too long tame my once feracious appetites or have they numb my leading qualities that I used to have?
People used to come up to me for everything, love problem to technical problem. If you do not believe, they actually ask me on cooking certain dishes too. Seems unbelievable but that was my life before.
Somehow I feel it is a curse for hurting such a nice gal. A invisible weight put upon my body and my soul to remind me, I am all but just a human being. It is also because of love that make you so strong as before but now you shall suffer without it to make u remember where you used to get your success from.
3 more months to find back myself before i enter the society back again. Since I believe in no god, I can only depend on myself now.
11:12 PM
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